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HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada, focus, perspective, attention, Internal dialogue, fear, compassion, balance, fearless, happy, chaos, rebirth, COVID-19, community

Place Your Attention Wisely

HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada, focus, perspective, attention, Internal dialogue, fear, compassion, COVID-19, community

Your Attention = Your Reality

Thinking about the past ……..

Imagining the future ……..

Either one leaves you missing this moment and the beauty that is present

 

HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada, focus, perspective, attention, Internal dialogue, fear, compassion, COVID-19, community

Your Mind is Your Bitch, You Have the Power!

So don’t go getting all bent out of shape, the term ‘Bitch’ here is gender neutral and a metaphor people!

Adapt this post to where you live. If you live in a city, break things down to your local community and/or circle of peeps.

Duh

So is the sky falling? Well no, we definitely have serious shit to get through, but if you allow your mind to focus on fear, panic and the constant barrage of media announcements, well ……….

Then you are ‘The Bitch’ of COVID-19 and I don’t know about you, but I’m bigger than COVID-19 and I’m not allowing a friggin’ virus to take my power!

So yes,
~ Do your due diligence in finding out the facts
~ Take necessary precautions
~ Be a fabulous Gabriolan and take care of each other (Vancouverite, Torontonian, etc.)
~ Checking on those at risk or alone
~ Then let it go.

If you allow yourself
to keep this virus
as the focus of your attention
then that is where you will be.

Day in and day out,
creating stress in all your bodies,
mental, emotional and physical,
this is what impacts your immune system
making you more susceptible to disease.

So part of necessary precautions from my perspective is:
~ Keep calm
~ De-stress
~ Kick paranoia to the curb when somebody coughs
~ Has just been in Vancouver
~ Or has a cold,
~ Don’t take all available resources out of the grocery stores etc.
leave some for others.

We are Gabriolans,
we have a long history of taking care of each other,
of supporting each other,
let’s keep doing that…….

Not giving in to fear and panic.
Even if some of us get sick,
we will get through this better
by being our usual kind compassionate selves.

One of the reasons I have stayed on Gabriola
was for exactly this eventuality,
that when the shit hits the fan,
I know there will be community support.

So …… step up,
take control of your brain,
your internal dialogue,
watch what you watch, read, say and do.

I’m not saying it’s easy,
but I do think it’s necessary for me anyway,
to keep living and not just start existing
as COVID-19’s Bitch!

Bite me COVID-19 I am a warrior! AND no-body’s Bitch!

Neurochemistry what the heck does that have to do with addiction?

This is my third blog post on addiction and completes this series.

Disclaimer: I am not a scientist, I have studied the subject of neurochemistry in relationship to addiction, but these are my own conclusions and opinions coming from that studying and my experience.
Do your own homework, remember you are your own best teacher!
I am not the font of all knowledge or the oracle (Yet! lol, I need a few hundred years, crap do I have to become a vampire …. damn, well it might not be so bad!) I’m a mere mortal with some life experience which once healed, ended up with a touch of wisdom. (Well I like to think so anyway.) Neurochemistry of addiction

I’ve mentioned being ‘at choice’ in my previous posts. Within the context of addiction this means how much will power do I have at my disposal in this moment in order to apply my sobriety strategies successfully.

Here’s an exert from my previous blog post:
“Another huge piece of unwrapping the puzzle for me anyway was with a biofeedback machine, from the HeartMath institute. With a simple program on the computer I was to get the program into ‘coherence’, the sweet spot where I was happy. So once I had that down, I started to play with my thoughts to see where some of my triggers were. I got the machine into coherence and thought one word ‘Cocaine’, my coherence vanished into the toilet, that didn’t surprise me, to this day 11 years later, I get butterflies in the stomach thinking the word.
What did surprise me, was that even though I got right back to thinking the thoughts that got me into coherence the first time, it took 3X as long to get me back to my happy place. This was shocking and illuminating to me. No wonder when we use ‘whatever’, the ability to stop gets harder and harder. We are less and less ‘at choice’, and this brings us to neurochemistry. ”

So to explain we need to get a bit sciencey which I actually love.

We need to start at the very beginning of your life, which starts in utero.
There used to be a belief that our neurochemistry was set at birth and that was that. Now we know better, we know about the brain’s plasticity. The brain can change and heal, yes you heard me. Now that doesn’t give you a free pass to go and drink yourself into oblivion thinking that all the cells your are killing will heal. (Yes I know some of you went there, don’t bullshit an ex-bullshiter).

From the time we are fully formed in utero to approx. 6 yrs old all experiences from the child’s perspective create a reaction in the brain’s neurochemistry. Perceived positive experiences make it rise and perceived negative experiences make it drop. (I’m sure it’s far more complicated that that, but in simple terms ….). Then around 6 yrs old the neurochemistry sets to the average of all those experiences.

Now the word perceived is very important as these experiences are from the child’s perspective, not necessarily the truth (whatever that means, and I will not go down that particular rabbit hole!). So a child that is ill and ends up in the hospital for days, may experience abandonment due to their parents not being able to stay with them the whole time. They are actually not abandoned, but we come from our perspective of reality even when little. I imagine many parents when playing hide and seek with their little child had the experience of their child being totally shocked when you found them easily. You found them easily because you could see a part of their body. When the child is very young, if they can’t see you they think you can’t see them, and are astounded when you find them because even though part of their body was clearly visible to you, they cannot yet imagine that. “How did you find me mommy?” I loved those moments with my child, absolutely precious.

So your neurochemistry is now set, but where did it set? I have a hypothesis that addicts that prefer booze and pot, (downers, they chill you out) have their neurochemistry set higher than non-addicts, and addicts who prefer stimulants like cocaine, (They ramp you up) have their neurochemistry set too low. This is purely speculation but I like my theory, would that someone does a research paper on this, I’d love to find out. If I am correct it would also help create better pharmaceuticals that target more accurately, rather than the hit or miss that seems to be the norm at the moment. Not that I’m advocate for the pharmaceutical industry far from it, but some medication is good, it’s not all black and white in life.

So regardless of where your neurochemistry is set, the more you use your addiction of choice, the more it affects your neurochemistry. As illuminated with the HeartMath biofeedback machine even the word, of my favourite substance affected my neurochemistry, imagine what actually using if for hours did. Then (I’ll use cocaine as it is what I most familiar with), you crash once you stop using it. In particular your dopamine crashes, as cocaine is a dopamine reuptake inhibitor which is why it makes you feel so damn good. It jacks your dopamine up and then stops it from coming down. Now you awake with a cocaine hangover, which means your dopamine is in the proverbial toilet, which means you are severely depressed neurochemically and otherwise. Which lasts from my experience 3 days with day 2 being the worst. Now think back to the first blog post about my experience as an addict, add to that this information …… and shitballs if you have no compassion now you are the spawn of Voldemort and do not have a heart!

To illuminate the ‘at choice’ concept I’m going to use a neurochemistry set point scale of 1 – 20, 10 being the average for non-addicts. Say before I started using cocaine my neurochemistry was generally (yes it does fluctuate) set at 8. Then I use cocaine, it skyrockets to 16, then I stop and it plummets to 4. Then once I’ve gone through the depression stage after not using, it goes back up but only to 7 not my usual setting of 8. Then I use cocaine, it skyrockets to 16, then I stop and it plummets to 3. Then once I’ve gone through the depression stage after not using, it goes back up but only to 6 not my usual setting of 8. Then I use cocaine, it skyrockets to 16, then I stop and it plummets to 3. Then once I’ve gone through the depression stage after not using, it goes back up but only to 5 not my usual setting of 8. Getting the idea, I’m making the numbers up to show a cycle, do not take these numbers as factual they are not. I tried to make a fancy ass diagram to illuminate this, but once I started all the other factors made things much too complicated for me to draw out. As one needs to add to that the knowledge that it takes longer and longer to get back to normal, that the drugs effects wane and more and more is needed, depression increases, that stresses play a role, on and on. Well that’s one rolling ball than never mind ‘gathering no moss’, will just explode at some point. The proverbial ‘bottoming out’, straw that broke the camels back, etc. happens.

So no matter what strategies I use for sobriety, at each stage I have less and less chance that my strategies will be successful, no matter how much I intellectually want to not use, physically my neurochemistry is handicapping me. I am less ‘at choice’.

So …… yes I take full responsibility for choosing to use cocaine, and yes I chose addiction as a way to numb my pain, the pain that I had before I started using addiction as a self medicating strategy. I started numbing pain when I was very little, with food. Then came cigarettes at 13, then pot at 18. I fought them all successfully on and off throughout my life. It wasn’t until I was 40 that I tried cocaine and knew with the very first line that I was well and truly screwed. I had found the substance that hit my sweet spot of numbing that pain, and having battled addiction for as long as I could remember, I didn’t think I would win this one. Thankfully I was wrong.

Hopefully now you have learnt something new about addiction and why it is so hard to overcome it. Addicts need our help and support when they ask for it. They have to recreate their world from scratch with a neurochemical imbalance, depression and choosing to stop using the thing that made life tolerable. They have to face and feel a lifetime of pain and heal.

Do not try and rescue an addict or force them into treatment, it will not work in the long term, addicts need to make that choice themselves. If you feel that you have to rescue or force them into treatment, take a big look in the mirror, because you are not actually doing it for them, even if you think you are. You are doing it for you. That might be hard to hear, you may be calling ‘bullshit’, but underlying everything we do, is a motivation that leads right back to us.

For my part, my motivation for this series on addiction I knew wasn’t to just to help addicts and non-addicts alike. I knew because when that person talked about addicts with disgust and loathing (see 1st blog post on addiction) I had an uncomfortable reaction. That was my red flag. If I had completely healed my issues around addiction the disgust and loathing would not have created a reaction in me. I would have know it was just their stuff without any emotional reaction other than compassion. I know this to be true from all the healing work I have done.

It has been through writing these posts that what lurked beneath …. has become clear. What I now know, is underneath my desire to write these posts, I was hoping for forgiveness, hoping for acceptance from outside myself. (Do not give it to me, you will not be helping!) Trying once again to dislodge feelings of inadequacy, judgement, shame and blame through others acceptance. It was exactly this dance that I did with my parents as a young child, changing who I was, in order to be loved. That was how I wounded myself, so much so, that I needed to numb the pain of my own betrayal.

I did not realize this when I started this series, I thought that layer of the proverbial onion was healed, but alas it was lurking in my subconscious, I did not want to see it. However …. hello, bonjour there it was.

Now I once again have done my healing work around my shit, healing a little more, and become a more balanced human. Grateful for the person who unknowingly pushed my buttons. They brought the next piece in my healing journey front and centre, and I am grateful to myself for seeing it.

 

HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada, focus, perspective, attention, addiction, sobriety, feelings, hope

Addicts are warriors in their own right!

So in my previous blog post I said I would tell you how I got successfully sober, I did everything listed below and more. My ‘story’ of that time is really not important, and I have told it before. Right now I do not need to revisit that whole story to share the juice of sobriety.

Suffice as to say ….
I was in deep addiction, I manifested dropping the bottom out of all my basic needs support systems, couldn’t pay the rent, nowhere to go, disillusioned with even considering I could get sober again for the umpteenth time, thought I had tried everything, year long addiction program, self help, healing ceremonies and rituals, leaving my addictive mate over and over again, and going back to him over and over again, I was hope free. However …. I had an amazing compassionate supportive circle of people in my life. My closest shamanic sister said the magic words I probably couldn’t have heard from anyone else.
“You can’t get sober and hold it staying in your life!” So I asked for help from my shamanic teachers, which led to a ‘Yes be out in BC on our land in 3 weeks, leave your car, I know you can do it, goodbye’ (I lived in Ottawa at the time). So, I closed up 3 business, sold, recycled and stored the balance of my possessions in about 3 different friends places, got gifted money from clients and my mom, broke up with my mate, kissed my adult daughter and family goodbye, and landed in BC 3 weeks later. Not quite sure how the heck I’d pulled it off. Ever seen ‘Galaxy Quest’ when the main character get’s shot from the spaceship to earth in the ‘jelly capsule’? Remember his reactions when he landed ….. same!
AND then the healing in sobriety began.

I have a lot of information below. Beware the dreaded overwhelm. If you feel so inclined pick one thing to try initially, do not set yourself up for failure by putting unrealistic expectations on yourself. Getting to sobriety is a journey that you start in addiction. Slowly, slowly you gain wisdom, knowledge and enough experience to get to successful sobriety. Remember you are always doing the best you can in each moment, even when it doesn’t look pretty!     Sometimes it helps to see the little innocent child you were, help her/him/they to heal, get a photo, stick it somewhere to tap into that energy. Be gentle with yourself, as often as you can, and if you can’t perhaps that can be a goal?

Addiction is a way to numb pain
It is not in the substance or behaviour it’s in the brain

Do not ask: Why am I an addict?
Ask: What is causing me pain!

Dr. Gabor Maté, the preeminent authority on addiction today: a quick 3:25 mins. video on addiction

There is one underlying principle to sobriety, it is the ability to feel your pain and heal the traumas that have/are creating the pain.

Which if you could’ve done it alone you would have.
How many times have you tried ….. lots I am betting
You are not weak, it is not a matter of self control
You are brave, you are strong, you do battle every day in order to survive
You are warrior even if you do not feel that way right now

So you want to get sober ….
Are you doing it for you?

Getting sober for others, or because you think/feel you ‘should’ is a waste of time and energy, and just layers more guilt, shame and blame on top of that huge pile you’ve already accumulated each time you do not succeed.

Set yourself up for success:
~ Go for sobriety when you desire it with all your heart for yourself
~ Ensure your have un-judgemental compassionate support in place from day one of sobriety
~ Know that you are willing to make the radical changes necessary to support your sobriety
~ Know that you are willing to start the process of healing the pain and trauma of your past
~ Make sure you know where to get medical help if you need it.

So …..
Heal the pain and trauma = Sobriety
Sounds simple, well it’s not …..

The missing link to sobriety for many, is having a person or people who will hold a space for you with compassion for you to heal your trauma.

Which is why AA, NA, etc. are so popular, but in the end you need to stop telling your stories about addiction, it will not help you stay sober. It will keep you locked into your past, always afraid that you might go back into addiction. You will be a dry addict, not actively using in that moment, but holding your breath waiting for the next excuse that will validate going back into addition.

Sobriety takes
~ Healing while in addiction
~ Self awareness of your patterns, buttons, back doors. Not all at once, just start watching yourself, get to know how you tick.
~ A willingness to take responsibility for your actions
~ Understanding that stress is one of your biggest challenges. The more stressed you are the greater the risk that you will use. First stress of the day: you breathe deeply, 2nd stress you’re swearing, 3rd stress you kick something, 4th stress you’re yelling, 5th stress you’re white knuckling it, you’re overwhelmed, you cave and use. I’m not saying this is your pattern just an example of stress escalation.

Sobriety takes
~ Strategies, strategies lots of them, strategies are your friend.
No one strategy works all the time, so have lots

~ Knowing your ‘sweet spot’ as within that ‘sweet spot’ lies your greatest chance of success. It is those moments when you are so tired of the addiction dance you crave sobriety for you, as well as having practical matters aligned. i.e. a support system, a sober place to stay, medical support if needed and strategies. By extension know when you are most at risk. Where are you, how do you feel, what stresses you out. (This is a strategy)

~ Practice, patience and persistence – the 3 ‘P’s’ I used to call it and would use it as a mantra as well (This is a strategy)
If you think you don’t have those skills ……. Surprise! …. Yes you do.
Think of your determination when needing to score, the skills you used…. practice, patience and persistence. How often did you not score when you wanted to ……. yeh exactly, you got this!
Use those skills for your sobriety, it’s the exact same skill set just with a different goal.

Sobriety takes
~ Acknowledging your successes – Think of all those times you didn’t use when you wanted to, I promise you those moments far outweigh the moments you cave and use. Carry around a wee notebook and pen, every time you want to use and don’t mark it down, do not mark down when you cave, this is an acknowledging success piece (This is a strategy)

~ Mark each day of sobriety some how, whatever works for you. Make it visual. For 5 years I put a bead every day sober onto a string, and hung the strings around the room I lived in the most. (This is a strategy)

Sobriety takes
~ A willingness to keep fighting for yourself by doing your healing of past trauma(s)
~ It takes erasing your past history, not sitting in a circle rehashing your war stories, all that does is take your right back to those moments and keeps those memories alive.

Sobriety takes
~ Many attempts at sobriety, before you have a totally successful sobriety, sobriety that sticks. I have never heard of someone who tried first time and succeeded, I’m not saying it can’t happen it’s just not the norm.
If you were learning a new skill, trail and error would be expected,
so cut yourself some slack, at this point sobriety is a new skill.
You have found a way to numb your pain, forget your trauma for a little while, and now you’re asking yourself to take away the proverbial net.
That is no easy decision ….. it takes courage ….. you are a warrior!
Oh yes, I hear that negative internal dialogue, judging yourself, heaping guilt, shame and blame on yourself, ‘I’m not a warrior, what shit is she spewing,?” Blah, blah, blah. A lot of that may have been heaped on you from friends, family and/or society at large …. Guess what F_ _K them, they do not know your pain, your trauma, your battle, if they did they would have compassion, not judgement.
Compassion for yourself will be a huge turning point in your ability to attain and/or maintain sobriety, and increase your ability to do the courageous stuff, to heal.

My turning point as far as compassion for myself was about 3 months into my successful sobriety. As part of my healing journey the woman who was facilitating it gave me some homework. I was to read Gabor Maté’s ‘In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts – Close encounters with addiction’. I got the pieces I personally needed to have compassion for myself, and it rocked my world, it changed how I felt about myself dramatically.

Sobriety takes
~ The courage to get back on the horse if you go back into addiction
~ Learning what shakes you out of balance, your triggers, mirrors of self-reflection, your energy patterns.
Sobriety takes
~ Changing your life.
~ Cutting out anyone in your life that is an addict or linked to that world. That back door needs to be closed.
~ Closing all back doors to excuses to use, which means cutting out anyone in your life that uses substances or behaviours that were your addictions, IF they will not abstain when you’re around. This bit isn’t for life, but it takes many years in my experience before it’s not a trigger.
Now this then means quite often that to get sober you will have to leave a lot of people that you love/like behind. If you do not, your odds of being successful are unlikely. It can be a lonely road, but you have a choice doing all the work needed to become sober and leaving back doors open so you can fail with a convenient excuse, or getting ruthless and closing them all. You are a warrior you can take the path that leads to you winning the war not just one battle.

Sobriety takes
~ Forgiveness, you have to forgive yourself, you’re doing the best you can, and you keep trying
~ Cleaning up any messes you made while in addiction, owning your shit and apologizing for it, without expectation of forgiveness. You do it to clean up your emotional slate, regardless of their reaction. This is a friggin’ hard one, but really important. Make sure you have compassionate support when doing these pieces. You know that huge shit pile of shame, blame, guilt and self judgement, these are the additional pieces you added to the pile over and above the initial traumas that led to you choosing addiction as a means to survive your pain.

Another huge piece of unwrapping the puzzle for me anyway was with a biofeedback machine, from the HeartMath institute. With a simple program on the computer I was to get the program into ‘coherence’, the sweet spot where I was happy. So once I had that down, I started to play with my thoughts to see where some of my triggers were. I got the machine into coherence and thought one word ‘Cocaine’, my coherence vanished into the toilet, that didn’t surprise me, to this day 11 years later, I get butterflies in the stomach thinking the word.
What did surprise me, was that even though I got right back to thinking the thoughts that got me into coherence the first time, it took 3X as long to get me back to my happy place. This was shocking and illuminating to me. No wonder when we use ‘whatever’, the ability to stop gets harder and harder. We are less and less ‘at choice’, and this brings us to neurochemistry.

Which I know I said I’d deal with in this blog post, but I’m done for today. I’ll put it in my next one.

RESOURCES
Dr. Gabor Maté videos – How Addiction Works –  (There are many videos on YouTube, I’ve just picked one)
Dr. Gabor Maté books
HeartMath Institute

HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada, focus, perspective, attention, addiction, sobriety, feelings, hope

Addiction is an adaptation to survive

This is a touchy subject that creates strong reactions. If you think I’m full of shit that’s okay, your truth is your own, all I can do is share my truth at this particular moment in time.

You are always doing the best you can even if it doesn’t look pretty.

I was recently in a group where someone mentioned an addict with disgust and contempt. This attitude is quite common in my experience. I intellectually know it is about them, whether a mirror for themselves, or having been in relationship with an addict, or just general ignorance. Whatever it is it pisses me off, and yes pissing me off is ‘my’ stuff as I was once an addict for many, many years. That also gives me a unique perspective into addiction. Which is the reason for this blog post and at least one more to come. I don’t talk about my experience with addiction much anymore, as telling the story takes me right back there, rekindling those memory pathways of an old story that does not serve me. However my intuition has nudged me, letting me know it was important to tell it today.

Addiction is a disease …. oh bite me. Even if you believe that, it’s a disease that can be cured. Not everyone succeeds, but that is true of a lot of diseases. You are not fated to carry around the “I am an addict banner”, once successfully sober. More on the “successfully sober” bit in later posts.

So how I define addiction: any behaviour that you do repetitively to deflect your attention from your reality and your pain, that negatively affects you and by extension your life. That creates imbalance even if it is a means to an end. Addiction is not in the substance, addiction is in the behaviour.

We are an addictive culture, it is common for people to use addiction as a way to survive the stress of daily life, past trauma (acknowledged or not), fear of the unknown and many other things that make us uncomfortable. What is uncommon is people realizing and/or admitting it, especially before it is affecting their lives in extreme ways.

We learn to adapt to our environment starting from birth, adapting at all costs to survive. We are at the mercy of our caregivers whether they are nice or not and society at large. So we change who we are to fit in, to be loved, to be taken care of, and once we grow up we’ve often forgotten or indeed have no awareness at all of those bit by bit changes we made in order to make ourselves feel safe.

In order to feel safe, self-soothe or escape the pain of our reality, some of us retreat within ourselves, becoming meek and quiet. Others of us fight for ourselves and our childhood is peppered with discord within our relationships, or become people pleasers always helping everyone. Some of us become over-controlling as a way to feel ok, and others becoming mean or a bully to reduce the feeling of helplessness. Some start with addictive behaviours to self-sooth, often with food as the first addiction. Other’s become pompous asses to hide feelings of inadequacy.  No one is better or worse than another, they are all a way to stop the feelings of pain that comes with betraying ourselves (remembered or not), the anger at unjust treatment, lies, deceptions, not being given unconditional love, and for some not even having their daily basic needs met, and having nowhere to go or no-one that believes you or in you. It is a way for some of us to stop wanting to blow our brains out, escape this reality and not feel or hurt again.

…….. So now you’re an adult.

If you are an addict it is okay,
congratulations you found a way to survive,
not everyone does.

I encourage you, to not to go into judgement, shame and blame, or if you do, forgive yourself as often as is necessary and carry on doing the best you can. This blog and the one(s) to come are meant to give you hope that sobriety is possible. If you’re an addict you are on a journey which is giving you skills and abilities that you can cross-train to attain sobriety. If you are not an addict well, here’s a window into the world of a woman who once was.

Shame, blame and judgement are damaging emotions, and counterproductive to sobriety. In fact they kept me locked into addiction like a vice.

A week in the head of the addict I used to be.
An average addictive week starting on a Monday …

– Off to work feeling depressed, overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally
– I got high Friday and Saturday night, not Sunday as I had to work today, so that was something
– I vowed to not use again when I woke up on Sunday morning

Now the weekly game is afoot, because the first thing I want to do to not feel my emotional pain, is to use again.
– My infernal internal dialogue is off and running, all day long as usual…..
Judgement, judgement, judgement “How could you use again, why can’t you be stronger, why can’t you just say no, look at the money you spent, see how bad you feel now, but I want to use, you can’t use, I want to use, you can’t use, I know I vowed I wouldn’t but ……. I want to.” Rinse repeat, rinse repeat, rinse repeat.

– I need to escape from myself and my continuous judgement and internal dialogue. I cannot I am trapped in my own head.
– I need to escape the push and pull of wanting to use and saying no, over and over and over again.
– I can’t make my head shut up, my Itty Bitty Shitty Committee is working overtime
– I feel awful, physically, mentally, emotionally I am a basket case
– My neurochemistry is now so low my ability to even fight my desires are at a really low ebb.
– “It’s only Monday you can hang on until Friday Michele, you cannot work hungover you know that, okay, push through it, perhaps by Friday you’ll feel better and not want to use”

But nothing changes, I fight with my overwhelming desire to use all week long.

I have made it to Friday. I have accomplished sobriety for 5 days in a row. Hooray for me. Unfortunately I still want to use, and now I have been doing battle with myself for approx. 130 hrs straight I am exhausted. I don’t have to work tomorrow, I’m sooo tired of the battle, I hate myself, I am disgusted by my inability to not want to use, disgusted by my previous behaviour, what is wrong with me, why can’t I just say no.
I cannot hold the pain and stay present anymore.

– It’s Friday, I’ll just get high tonight, no work tomorrow
– F..k it I’m going to score
– Then I have to go about acquiring it, and seeing as booze isn’t my thing, I can’t just go to the store, so…. (Just imagine the stress of acquiring an illegal substance, that you may or may not even be able to get and now that you’ve said yes to yourself, you are let’s say … very determined. Anxious to be able to get or not get, anxious to not get busted. I was lucky I never got busted, and if you think getting busted would have stopped me from using as soon as I got out back then, you are wrong.)

And so I score and I use again,
– Oh sweet holy h_ll, I feel good and I feel happy for the first time all week.
– No more pain, emotional, physical or mental.
– Zippidy do da zippidy day, my oh my what a wonderful day!
– I am out of my body, out of my head, my internal dialogue is gone. I get to focus on anything other than wanting to use.
– But of course once it’s gone, then begins the slow slide back to the hell of the reality I have created
– I wake up sober in absolute horror over having used yet again and what I did when I used. When we mind alter with anything, it changes how we act and behave.
– My constant companions judgement, shame and blame show up as usual, creating a new layer of emotional pain. Addicts are really really good at beating themselves up, we don’t need any help really, we got this!
– Hungover and now feeling so bad about my behaviours on top of depressed, overwhelmed and stressed …….

– It’s Saturday – using last night has tipped the scales on my ability to fight. I don’t have to work tomorrow.
– I’m going to use ….. I’m done!
– I’ll stop tomorrow, I’ve got work on Monday …….

“Just Say NO!”  ………   What a load of crap!
Now there was a campaign that wiggled its way into the hearts and minds of many.

What a lovely thought ‘Just say No”. Why didn’t I think of that……

All be it perhaps well intentioned, that campaign has done soooo much harm to addicts I can’t even tell you. That ridiculous campaign,  became embedded in the beliefs of  western culture.

Addicts say ‘No’ to themselves all day long, constantly fighting to not cave to their addiction, fighting their overwhelming sense of disgust with themselves, fighting the pain, fighting the judgement, shame and blame they heap on themselves.

I no longer dance with addiction, but admittedly I still on occasion eat too much sugar and indulge in zoning out with movies and tv. The difference is now I have so many years of sobriety and a mountain of healing work behind me. I have the advantage of neurochemistry that is not in the toilet, and the wisdom to know myself well and what strategies I need to implement, so that I do not allow those those behaviours to go unchecked for very long.

I now consider myself healed from addiction, with a predisposition for addictive tendencies. I do not fear falling back into the need to mind alter to get away from the life I have and am creating. I also now know that where my neurochemistry is at, which dramatically changes how I am feeling, and by default how ‘at risk’ I might be to depression. Depression for me was what was underlying my addiction in the past, and is probably underlying almost everybody’s addictive behaviours.

My next post will deal with how I got sober and some sciency stuff, to help explain our neurochemistry a bit more.

Q & A with a hand full of bullshit thrown in for good measure
We only react to things that we have ‘stuff’ with.
So why do you need that glass of wine/joint/codeine/etc. every day?
Imagine that you will never be able to get alcohol/joint/codeine/etc. of any sort again?
How do you feel now?
Is there a wee bit of panic rising, discomfort?

What is that glass of wine/joint/codeine/etc. doing for you? What’s the gain, there’s always a gain?

“Well I only have one glass of wine everyday, I’m not an addict”
“I only drink/toke socially”
“I toke, but doesn’t everyone and it’s legal now, doesn’t make me an addict”
“Exercising 3 hrs every day is good for me, not addiction”
“My doctor prescribed these”
“I only shop all the time to get the deals, and the shipping is free! I’ve got Amazon Prime”
“I’m just having a challenging time right now”
“I’m not an addict, I can stop whenever I want” (This is my favourite piece of bullshit)
“I only get high on the weekends” – This was my bullshit and my control mechanism, most of the time

Blah blah blah …… At a certain point we own our truth and things get better from there

HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada, focus, perspective, attention

Ever had one of THOSE days …..

Ever had one of those days that by the end of it, you are feeling like these guys look?

“Hell yeh’ I can hear you say, or perhaps, ‘yup’, ‘yes’, ‘oh my yes’!  Whichever way you say it, we all know it sucked! Didn’t go our way, was challenging, etc.

Now the question is, how did you handle it? Were things thrown, did you yell, did you pound the life out of a pillow, how about a primal scream? Or did you breathe deeply and use patience?

Today was a day like that for me. I awoke to the sound of rain, checked the weather forecast sent my working partner an IM cancelling our gardening work for the day and rolled over to go back to sleep. Well hello …… now I’m awake. Okay up I get and have a number of business things to do on my agenda now that I have at home work day. Great I think to myself I’m going to get a lot accomplished, that’s going to feel good.

Hmmmmm I think the metaphorical Gods were playing with me today. Let’s see how long Michele can keep her cool! Anger used to be a number one issue for me, and not that I am free and clear of it, but I have made huge strides in learning to use patience and yes deep breaths to calm myself down before I spiral into a volcanic display to match my medicine name. (Fire-River = lava flow)

I needed to buy some supplies online that I hadn’t purchased before and when I got to the checkout noticed that there was an area for a coupon number. The shipping was a hefty $20 and so I thought ooooooh let’s see if I can get a coupon. Well yes I could halve my shipping with a coupon I found, but first I needed to make an account with the coupon company. Okay that done I try to redeem my coupon. However I got the dreaded “Site is not responding” page…… I breathed deeply and tried again, and again and again. Okay I am no longer breathing deeply I am irritated, I fire off a question to the company asking what the problem is, and go and do some other work.

I am now back to calm and a while later yay an email response, the coupon site is for American coupons only. Okay I get it, but I really try to not have my info out there willy nilly so I decide to cancel the coupon website membership …. I look, and look and look and there is no info on cancelling the membership and the only contact to answer that question seems to be snail mail. Well that’s not happening. So ……. I breathed deeply unsubscribe from emails and hoped for the best. So not discount, suck it up Michele just pay the full shipping cost.

So back to my ‘cart of supplies’. All looks good and there are lots of payment options. I choose MasterCard but it will not go through, I know my card is good, so I try again, and again and again, persistence is a good trait ya know! Finally I give up as I figure out my MC wouldn’t work because it wasn’t 3-D whatever the heck that means …… I breathed deeply and chose a different payment method. 2 choices Interact or eTransfer. I tried to log into my bank account and it didn’t work, I get those awful words ‘Incorrect user name or password’ in red, like that’s helpful when a person is already irritated, let’s make them see RED, someone isn’t thinking. How about calming blue, or green or aqua? I breathed deeply and ……. well you know persistence. Okay, let’s try a different tack I know my numbers and password are correct, but they’ve just updated their website, so for shits and giggles perhaps changing my password will make everything okay. …… NO! Right I’m phoning the bank now, I’m on hold of course and just by the way “We may use voice identifying software”, yup like I want anyone to have a voiceprint of mine, next I’ll have to give blood to access my account. (Okay I have been reading a vampire series I admit it) I get a patient young man and figure out the problem. Yay I’m over the moon, this purchase is getting done today come hell or high water.

I’m in to my bank account, but now because I’ve never made apayment to this company before I have to add them to my bill payments list. I do so, but when I go to the next section to pay …… fu_ k_ _g    h_ll    the company is still not on the bill payments list. I breathed deeply and tried again, and again and again. Okay never mind I tell myself I will try an eTransfer I use them all the time, this is a no brainer. I add them to my eTransfer list, and go to send one …… fu_ k_ _g    h_ll    the company is not on the eTransfer recipient payments list. I breathed deeply and tried again, and again and again. Nope, nada, no joy.

I get up and go into the kitchen …… kaboom did you feel the M8 earthquake at around 1:30 pm today, ya that was me, the Fire-River Heart volcano just blew along with a primal scream.

So it’s now 7 pm ish and I’m writing this blog, and NO I still have not paid for my supplies. I fear for my computer it is the closest thing to whack, and now I’m in a whacking mood, the whole breathing and having patience thing is out the window for today.  I’ll leave it for another day when hopefully those naughty metaphorical Gods will be on my side.

 

HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada, focus, perspective, attention

Seeing is believing ….. Uh NOT!

So I know it’s been a looong looong time since my last post, and who knows how long it will be for another. However I was called to write this one so here it is.

Recently I have had 3 different experiences that brought home to me yet again, how my beliefs, expectations and assumptions colour my reality.

One was around how I coloured my world in regards to age. I have a close friend who is much younger than I am. They have a new partner and through their conversations with me about this new partner I had created a visual in my mind of what this partner would look like. So when I actually met this partner I was shocked that they were so young. Young in my mind was clearly about 20 years older than this person was. So how I coloured my world in regards to age was bam right in my face.

Another was in regards to not actually seeing what was right in front of me. I ‘read’ a name, my name I thought. However it was not my name, due to the cursive writing I had mistaken the first letter for an M which it was not. The next two letters of both names were the same and the last two letters of both names were the same but the rest were different. I didn’t actually read the name I had identified letters that were in my name and assumed the balance were accurate to my name ……. NOT! Now one might wonder how on earth someone could actually identify a different name as their own? Science however has actually proven humans tendency to do just this, we fill in what we expect from past experience whether it’s true or not. Hmmmm my bad, for not reading. Those of you who are ‘Why’ people here’s some research from Cambridge University: MRC Cognition and Brain Sciences Unit.

Yet another one in the recent past was me assuming that something was a law when it wasn’t. Making me the ASSuming one, and costing me a bit of money.

All three different, all three enlightening me once again to take more care with my attention and where I put it. As you and I create our own worlds, it behoves us to take care with how we think, feel and act. Change any one of those and your world changes. How it changes is entirely up to you.

HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada, spring

Spring is Sprung, the Grass is Riz, I wonder where my Healing Ceremony Is?

I love puns, corny poetry, so welcome to my world.

Happy Spring one and all. I have a ceremony for any who would like it and a free consult session to go with it. Start your spring by releasing and rebirthing into a new you.

REFLECTION BOWL CEREMONY
1.5 – 2 hrs
Can be done indoors or outdoors

INTENT
Creating ‘me time’ and a sacred space in which to reflect, release and emerge into the new you. The new you shining, envigorated, bursting, budding like nature at this time of year.

YOU WILL NEED:
1 large sheet of paper or poster board
3 pieces of paper or cardboard approx. 3” x 5”
Pen, marker, or coloured felt pens
Smudge
Compass (Unless you know the directions of the area you will work within)
4 rocks or crystals willing to hold the energies of the 4 cardinal directions* (See below)
Reflection Bowl: Container with water, not a lot. It will be used as your reflection focus. If you have a beautiful bowl and it’s feasible to bring it with you, well yaay, beauty is good.

Are ya game? Contact me and I will send it to you, then we can set up a call to discuss.

HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada

Why Actions Surrender to Reactions when You’re under Stress. Is this an app.?

Well most of you have heard of fight or flight,
it’s kind of like white noise at this point
if you’re anything like me.
In this post I’m looking at this human behaviour
from the perspective of
why when you’re under stress,
does your ability to take action
surrender to reaction?

Now I’m only talking about the places
where more healing needs to happen,
for in the places where you have healed, or never needed to,
your ability to take action will not be superseded by reaction.

A case in point in my life recently.
An unexpected crisis arose in my working life.
My problem-solving instinct kicked in,
and I dealt with things one after the other after the other.
Imagining after each problem solved, that this was the end of it.
I would breathe a sigh of relief go to bed and arise the next morning to ….
you guessed it, a new crisis.
(I’m sure this has never happened to you.)

This went on for weeks,
and because I was so reactive to the next crisis being problem solved,
I just kept going like a little energizer bunny.
(If you don’t get the reference, ask some old people.
Oh and by the by, it’s not like we’d had a cataclysmic disaster
and needed to put self care on hold
because self care at that point was trying to not die!)

Before I knew it, January was over and
I had worked 100 hours on this particular project
over and above other business.

Now knowing what I know about addiction and my own patterns of behaviour,
when I’m stressed out, I am usually blatantly aware of my moods,
of my timing, what I eat, how long I sleep, am I happy or sad.
This self-awareness is how I got to sobriety.
Well along with many, many healing ceremonies (Blatant plug.)
This crisis however had a client who was thousands of miles away,
was fighting cancer, and was just not able at that time here to deal with these crises.
(This is how I rationalized ignoring my self-care.
Again I’m sure you’ve never done that)

I had committed to a small project that went completely sideways,
and felt obligated to solve it as many people were involved,
and many people unhappy.
(It’s always important to make others happy
before yourself ….. NOT!)
I went back into addictive mode completely focused on only one need,
and that need was to get each new crisis solved.
I knew my eating habits have gone into the toilet,
I just didn’t have time to cook properly like I usually do.
I was grabbing things on-the-fly which for me is disastrous
as when I don’t feed myself with nourishing food that makes me feel satisfied
I get, well really, really, really cranky …..
I ignored it.
What I also know about myself
is that when I work over and above a certain amount of  hours in a day,
again it throws me completely out of whack.
I was so consumed with the problems I was juggling
that I was not sleeping well, which again is a very big red flag for me.
Yet I persevered until I started crying at some point every day,
and after three days of crying jags,
I had my very first panic attack.
In this moment the proverbial straw that broke the camels’ back happened
and my self preservation and self-care kicked in.
Within 24 hours I had new people hired and in place
to handle what I could no longer do.

That was five days ago
and now I am back into my regular routine
and feel sane again.

My actions had surrendered to re-action mode.
This was still my choice,
my lack of boundaries in this situation,
my attachment to problem-solving for someone I cared about,
at the cost of my own self-care.

The take away from all this was that I gained
a new level of self-awareness,
a new level of healing
a new level of being able to say no.
After the above story you may well think
‘A new level of being to say no?
You didn’t say no until you had a panic attack!’
but for me this was a new level of saying no.
In the past I would’ve carried on regardless,
through the tears through the panic attack.

We are all at choice in every moment,
however we all have an inner patterns and behaviours,
and they run just like computer apps.
Some of them are learned behaviours
some of them are adaptive behaviours
but once they are triggered they run.
So once you double-click that particular app.
until you quit that app.
it runs.

So the question is how to quit the apps. that you run permanently?

The only way that happens is through self-awareness.

How you get to your self-awareness has multiple pathways,
but unless you choose to look at who you are
and what apps. you run,
every single time an app. is double clicked
you will continue to run it, in the exact same way as you did before.

So what do you think?
Is it time for you to write any new apps?

HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada

You’re in the drivers seat of your healing journey

For most of you getting into the driver seat of a car was a process. As children you were driven around by people, then you got to that magical age of being allowed to drive, you learnt to drive and now you are your own driver.

Your healing journey is much the same.
Stage One: an awareness that something needs to change
Stage Two: an awareness that healing has to happen in order for you to change
Stage Three: you are ready and willing to heal and change
Stage Four: you gain some knowledge that affords you the ability to heal and change
Stage Five: you apply that knowledge, resulting in a healing change happening.
Stage Six: increased freedom, increased self acceptance, increased self-esteem
Stage Seven: rinse and repeat Stage Five and Six.

You are in the drivers seat of Your own healing journey,
no matter what help you get along the way,
you are still the one
who has the power to change
or the power to stay the same.

What I have noticed is the universe supports the journey. Opportunities to heal any issue get presented to you, over and over and over again until you are complete with that particular issue and no longer need the opportunity to heal it. Even better is the fact that you will no longer be at the mercy of your past history and buttons in regard to that particular issue, even if you’re faced with that issue again there is no button left to be pushed. Once you set an intent to heal something, opportunities just arise that afford you the ability to fast track that healing and therefore change your life far more quickly than if you have no awareness and set no intent. What also tends to happen is when we ignore the opportunities, hehehe the universe ups the ante and the opportunities become harder and harder to ignore. Personally I have found that working with opportunities as quickly as I can, diminishes the fallout in my world that happens when I ignore them.

~ Less fall out
~ Less for me to clean up
~ A much shorter path to healing and change.

So, you can get drunk with your best friend and whine about why the latest relationship you’re in is so much like the last, or how you have discovered that this new partner has the same traits as a past one, but it just looked different so you didn’t see it at first. You can bemoan all the bad things your partner, your mother or other people ‘do to you’
OR
you can start to look at
~ why you feel that way
~ why you allow yourself to be put down
~ why you put yourself down
~ why you are often depressed
~ why you feel like shit
~ why you are waking up with a hangover yet again

OR you can choose to get in the drivers seat of your life
AND the healing journey that accompanies us all.
YES US ALL
None of us are free and clear of past baggage, habits, wounds,
it’s the quantity that varies
and how you deal with it when it surfaces
that changes how you experience your life.

You are doing the best in every moment even if it doesn’t look pretty,
but wouldn’t it be nice if it was easier,
if your life had less trauma and drama,
if you could wake up happy and go to bed happy?

It’s not a cake walk, but it is attainable.

You can release your past and heal,
without telling stories,
without floods of tears,
without it being work.

Healing ceremonies are powerful ancient tools that afford you this opportunity.

May your journey be powerful
May your heart be happy
May your healing be swift

Walk in Beauty

7 of wands, tarot, mayan, daykeeper, ahaw, cycles, time, completion, end, all-seeing, healing through ceremony.com, michele fire-river heart

Tarot: 7 of Wands

Well I’m ending the tarot series, and moving on. My blogs will now be far fewer, but longer and with content that pertains to you. If you like so many people are carrying around anger, pain, patterns and/or buttons from past relationships, I can help you heal those wounds and patterns, so that you can move forward without all the emotional baggage.

I believe releasing negative past history is the key to happiness.
I believe the best way to do that is through healing ceremonies.

To that end I am launching my new package ‘Past Relationship Pain Be Gone’

HINT ~ 7’s: Inner work~ Wands: Your spirit, your central energetic fire, personal power, self-authority, seniority within yourself.

CURRENT BLOG THEME
– Tarot a tool to use intuitively, for you to discern what today’s message is. What to pay attention to, due to the energy presented by the card and as a means of self exploration.
I pull a tarot card every day with the intent that the card is for whomever is called to read my blog that day. Due to honouring copyright I will not be posting a photo of the card but instead I will post a photo of something that resonates as a mirror for that card. It is up to you, to interpret what the photo’s message is for you each day.

Play with tarot be your own best teacher
What intuitive messages are you hearing today?

Two ways you can do with this.
1) Focus on the photo and your breath, if the message comes from your belly it is usually your intuition, if it comes from your mind, well ego is probably present. So focus on your breath and the card, do your best to stay out of your head and see what comes.
2) Look at the photo, really focus on it, burn it into your retinas, especially parts that catch your attention more. Then go about your day with the intent to see and hear messages.
That’s it, see what comes, play have fun, this is not work, no seriousness please. Trust and be gentle with yourself, going through the process even if you don’t feel like you have gotten a message is still a success.

IN DEPTH PROCESS
~ Set your intent to play with this, rather than it being all serious with a pass or fail mentality.  Intuition takes practice.
~ Set your intent to hear the intuitive messages from spirit that you get today from being present with the photo above.
~ Find a quiet place to be present with the photo. (If the kids are running around the room you’re in, forget about it, find another room)
~ Breathe deeply for a few moments, focussing on your breath. This will bring you into a more balanced intuitive state. If your internal dialogue kicks up that’s okay, just notice it and let it pass on through your mind not engaging with it, and focus on your breath again.
~ Notice what attracts you about the photo. As a symbol what does this mean to you and your life walk?
~ Notice any ‘thoughts, images, colours’ that pop up not from your brain, but rather from your gut or elsewhere. (If it’s from your brain that is your ego chatting away, trying to distract you from hearing your intuition.)
~ What do those thoughts, colours, images mean as symbols or otherwise to you specifically and your life?
~ Right them down. Then you have them and can ponder on them any time you want during the day.
~ If nothing comes, do not, I repeat do not beat yourself up, this is playtime remember. Go about your day, something may pop up during the day unexpectedly. If not, no matter, there’s another photo coming tomorrow to play with.  Intuition takes practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Your interpretation and experience is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to find your own truths and their relevance in your life. This is really important. If something resonates great, if not chuck it out. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey and manifesting what you want.

Mayan Daykeeper Ahaw ~ The essence of Ahaw is completion, culmination, realization, integration.

Ahaw may be experienced as a sense of completion.
This experience may include understanding
the causes and effects that led to this moment.
Ahaw offers the awareness of how completion
relates to the entire cycle of life.

Ahaw’s days are opportunities to see situations
as they fit into the bigger picture.
It is a good time to consider the necessity of certain events
and their involvement in something larger than their immediate effects.

People born on a Ahaw day are sensitive to the cycles of time
and respect the importance of being timely.
They naturally accept that everything plays a part
in something greater than itself.

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

4 the emperor, tarot, mayan, daykeeper, kawak, transformation, sudden, HEALINGthroughCEREMONY.com. Michele Fire-River Heart

Tarot: 4 ~ The Emperor (Masculine energy in the light)

HINT ~ Active energy that represents the wisdom gained from living life from a place of self-command, self-inquiry, self-authority. Go after what you want with discipline and impeccability (doing the best you can at all times). When you make a mistake and you will because it’s how we learn, clean it up with yourself and others. Perfection is an illusion.

CURRENT BLOG THEME
– Tarot a tool to use intuitively, for you to discern what today’s message is. What to pay attention to, due to the energy presented by the card and as a means of self exploration.
I pull a tarot card every day with the intent that the card is for whomever is called to read my blog that day. Due to honouring copyright I will not be posting a photo of the card but instead I will post a photo of something that resonates as a mirror for that card. It is up to you, to interpret what the photo’s message is for you each day.

Play with tarot be your own best teacher
What intuitive messages are you hearing today?

Two ways you can do with this.
1) Focus on the photo and your breath, if the message comes from your belly it is usually your intuition, if it comes from your mind, well ego is probably present. So focus on your breath and the card, do your best to stay out of your head and see what comes.
2) Look at the photo, really focus on it, burn it into your retinas, especially parts that catch your attention more. Then go about your day with the intent to see and hear messages.
That’s it, see what comes, play have fun, this is not work, no seriousness please. Trust and be gentle with yourself, going through the process even if you don’t feel like you have gotten a message is still a success.

IN DEPTH PROCESS
~ Set your intent to play with this, rather than it being all serious with a pass or fail mentality.  Intuition takes practice.
~ Set your intent to hear the intuitive messages from spirit that you get today from being present with the photo above.
~ Find a quiet place to be present with the photo. (If the kids are running around the room you’re in, forget about it, find another room)
~ Breathe deeply for a few moments, focussing on your breath. This will bring you into a more balanced intuitive state. If your internal dialogue kicks up that’s okay, just notice it and let it pass on through your mind not engaging with it, and focus on your breath again.
~ Notice what attracts you about the photo. As a symbol what does this mean to you and your life walk?
~ Notice any ‘thoughts, images, colours’ that pop up not from your brain, but rather from your gut or elsewhere. (If it’s from your brain that is your ego chatting away, trying to distract you from hearing your intuition.)
~ What do those thoughts, colours, images mean as symbols or otherwise to you specifically and your life?
~ Right them down. Then you have them and can ponder on them any time you want during the day.
~ If nothing comes, do not, I repeat do not beat yourself up, this is playtime remember. Go about your day, something may pop up during the day unexpectedly. If not, no matter, there’s another photo coming tomorrow to play with.  Intuition takes practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Your interpretation and experience is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to find your own truths and their relevance in your life. This is really important. If something resonates great, if not chuck it out. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey and manifesting what you want.

Mayan Daykeeper Kawak ~ The essence of Kawak is immediate transformation. No heads up, sometimes a change that we don’t even notice happening, it just all of a sudden has happened.

You may experience Kawak
as an immediate shift in consciousness,
a powerful force or a loud violent noise.

On a day with Kawak as Daykeeper,
you are invited to acknowledge and respect life’s mysteries and
all that is beyond your power and control

Those born on a Kawak day
feel a part of something that is beyond normal consciousness.
Their deepest motivations often remain a mystery even to themselves.

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

11 strength, 11 the balanced alchemist, dream dancer, tarot, mayan, daykeeper, Etz'nab, Anger, change, letting go, destruction, shatter, recreate, create, healing through ceremony, michele fire-river heart

Tarot: 11 ~ Strength (aka The Balanced Alchemist: Mayan Tarot)

HINT ~ You’ve done your emotional healing work, today is one of those ‘Damn I rock!’ days. Go enjoy your beauty and power.

CURRENT BLOG THEME
– Tarot a tool to use intuitively, for you to discern what today’s message is. What to pay attention to, due to the energy presented by the card and as a means of self exploration.
I pull a tarot card every day with the intent that the card is for whomever is called to read my blog that day. Due to honouring copyright I will not be posting a photo of the card but instead I will post a photo of something that resonates as a mirror for that card. It is up to you, to interpret what the photo’s message is for you each day.

Play with tarot be your own best teacher
What intuitive messages are you hearing today?

Two ways you can do with this.
1) Focus on the photo and your breath, if the message comes from your belly it is usually your intuition, if it comes from your mind, well ego is probably present. So focus on your breath and the card, do your best to stay out of your head and see what comes.
2) Look at the photo, really focus on it, burn it into your retinas, especially parts that catch your attention more. Then go about your day with the intent to see and hear messages.
That’s it, see what comes, play have fun, this is not work, no seriousness please. Trust and be gentle with yourself, going through the process even if you don’t feel like you have gotten a message is still a success.

IN DEPTH PROCESS
~ Set your intent to play with this, rather than it being all serious with a pass or fail mentality.  Intuition takes practice.
~ Set your intent to hear the intuitive messages from spirit that you get today from being present with the photo above.
~ Find a quiet place to be present with the photo. (If the kids are running around the room you’re in, forget about it, find another room)
~ Breathe deeply for a few moments, focussing on your breath. This will bring you into a more balanced intuitive state. If your internal dialogue kicks up that’s okay, just notice it and let it pass on through your mind not engaging with it, and focus on your breath again.
~ Notice what attracts you about the photo. As a symbol what does this mean to you and your life walk?
~ Notice any ‘thoughts, images, colours’ that pop up not from your brain, but rather from your gut or elsewhere. (If it’s from your brain that is your ego chatting away, trying to distract you from hearing your intuition.)
~ What do those thoughts, colours, images mean as symbols or otherwise to you specifically and your life?
~ Right them down. Then you have them and can ponder on them any time you want during the day.
~ If nothing comes, do not, I repeat do not beat yourself up, this is playtime remember. Go about your day, something may pop up during the day unexpectedly. If not, no matter, there’s another photo coming tomorrow to play with.  Intuition takes practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your interpretation and experience is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to find your own truths and their relevance in your life. This is really important. If something resonates great, if not chuck it out. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey and manifesting what you want.

Mayan Daykeeper Etz’nab ~ The essence of Etz’nab is letting go. Releasing what needs to go in order to birth something new. Sometimes this will be dramatic other times gentle, either way change is the order of the day.

When present, Etz’Nab may stimulate
a powerful awakening to anger and the need for change.
It can appear as rage or the destruction of an old form.
Through sudden events and changes,
Etz’nab may provoke you to be more present in the moment.

Etz’nab days provide an opportunity to detach from
obsolete motivations and future expectations.
You may want to voluntarily arrive in the present moment.
Recognize that when someone or something outside you
appears to interrupt you by demanding your attention,
you are being invited into the moment.

Those born with Etz’nab as their Daykeeper
are people who recognize and express the need for change.
Their actions often challenge the status quo and
can create change for themselves and others.

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

9 of swords, tarot, mayan, daykeeper, Kaban, mind, clarity, confusion, innovative, think, resolve, thought, healingthroughceremony.com, michele fire-river heart

Tarot: 9 of Swords

HINT
~ 9’s: Completion
~ Swords: The mind, slicing through the bullshit to disempower the ego
~ 9 of Swords: Past history is .haunting you, time to deal with it

CURRENT BLOG THEME
– Tarot a tool to use intuitively, for you to discern what today’s message is. What to pay attention to, due to the energy presented by the card and as a means of self exploration.
I pull a tarot card every day with the intent that the card is for whomever is called to read my blog that day. Due to honouring copyright I will not be posting a photo of the card but instead I will post a photo of something that resonates as a mirror for that card. It is up to you, to interpret what the photo’s message is for you each day.

Play with tarot be your own best teacher
What intuitive messages are you hearing today?

Two ways you can do with this.
1) Focus on the photo and your breath, if the message comes from your belly it is usually your intuition, if it comes from your mind, well ego is probably present. So focus on your breath and the card, do your best to stay out of your head and see what comes.
2) Look at the photo, really focus on it, burn it into your retinas, especially parts that catch your attention more. Then go about your day with the intent to see and hear messages.
That’s it, see what comes, play have fun, this is not work, no seriousness please. Trust and be gentle with yourself, going through the process even if you don’t feel like you have gotten a message is still a success.

IN DEPTH PROCESS
~ Set your intent to play with this, rather than it being all serious with a pass or fail mentality.  Intuition takes practice.
~ Set your intent to hear the intuitive messages from spirit that you get today from being present with the photo above.
~ Find a quiet place to be present with the photo. (If the kids are running around the room you’re in, forget about it, find another room)
~ Breathe deeply for a few moments, focussing on your breath. This will bring you into a more balanced intuitive state. If your internal dialogue kicks up that’s okay, just notice it and let it pass on through your mind not engaging with it, and focus on your breath again.
~ Notice what attracts you about the photo. As a symbol what does this mean to you and your life walk?
~ Notice any ‘thoughts, images, colours’ that pop up not from your brain, but rather from your gut or elsewhere. (If it’s from your brain that is your ego chatting away, trying to distract you from hearing your intuition.)
~ What do those thoughts, colours, images mean as symbols or otherwise to you specifically and your life?
~ Right them down. Then you have them and can ponder on them any time you want during the day.
~ If nothing comes, do not, I repeat do not beat yourself up, this is playtime remember. Go about your day, something may pop up during the day unexpectedly. If not, no matter, there’s another photo coming tomorrow to play with.  Intuition takes practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your interpretation and experience is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to find your own truths and their relevance in your life. This is really important. If something resonates great, if not chuck it out. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey and manifesting what you want.

Mayan Daykeeper Kaban ~ Kaban’s essence is the human mind, it’s processes & abilities. Plasticity, the positive & negative effects of thought, computational ability.

Kaban may be experienced as mental cleansing,
possibly mental clarity, and, often, mental overwhelm.
On a Kaban day, you may clear your mind
by watching the movement and content of your thinking
without attachment or judgement.
This will enable you to think more clearly
and focus your thoughts on a higher level of consciousness.

Those born with Kaban as their Daykeeper
tend to have unique mental abilities
with a potential to be clear thinkers.
Those talents can be used to access higher levels of consciousness
and effectively resolve conflicts and complex problems.

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

7 of cups, tarot, mayan, daykeeper, Kib, solitude, balance, interdependent, healingthroughceremony.com, michele fire-riverheart

Tarot: 7 of Cups

HINT
~ 7’s: Inner work
~ Cups: Regenerative energy, healing, intuition
~ 7 of Cups: Imagination, dreams. Desiring too many things at once, focus to manifest.

CURRENT BLOG THEME
– Tarot a tool to use intuitively, for you to discern what today’s message is. What to pay attention to, due to the energy presented by the card and as a means of self exploration.
I pull a tarot card every day with the intent that the card is for whomever is called to read my blog that day. Due to honouring copyright I will not be posting a photo of the card but instead I will post a photo of something that resonates as a mirror for that card. It is up to you, to interpret what the photo’s message is for you each day.

Play with tarot be your own best teacher
What intuitive messages are you hearing today?

Two ways you can do with this.
1) Focus on the photo and your breath, if the message comes from your belly it is usually your intuition, if it comes from your mind, well ego is probably present. So focus on your breath and the card, do your best to stay out of your head and see what comes.
2) Look at the photo, really focus on it, burn it into your retinas, especially parts that catch your attention more. Then go about your day with the intent to see and hear messages.
That’s it, see what comes, play have fun, this is not work, no seriousness please. Trust and be gentle with yourself, going through the process even if you don’t feel like you have gotten a message is still a success.

IN DEPTH PROCESS
~ Set your intent to play with this, rather than it being all serious with a pass or fail mentality.  Intuition takes practice.
~ Set your intent to hear the intuitive messages from spirit that you get today from being present with the photo above.
~ Find a quiet place to be present with the photo. (If the kids are running around the room you’re in, forget about it, find another room)
~ Breathe deeply for a few moments, focussing on your breath. This will bring you into a more balanced intuitive state. If your internal dialogue kicks up that’s okay, just notice it and let it pass on through your mind not engaging with it, and focus on your breath again.
~ Notice what attracts you about the photo. As a symbol what does this mean to you and your life walk?
~ Notice any ‘thoughts, images, colours’ that pop up not from your brain, but rather from your gut or elsewhere. (If it’s from your brain that is your ego chatting away, trying to distract you from hearing your intuition.)
~ What do those thoughts, colours, images mean as symbols or otherwise to you specifically and your life?
~ Right them down. Then you have them and can ponder on them any time you want during the day.
~ If nothing comes, do not, I repeat do not beat yourself up, this is playtime remember. Go about your day, something may pop up during the day unexpectedly. If not, no matter, there’s another photo coming tomorrow to play with.  Intuition takes practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your interpretation and experience is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to find your own truths and their relevance in your life. This is really important. If something resonates great, if not chuck it out. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey and manifesting what you want.

Mayan Daykeeper Kib ~ Kib’s essence is solitude.

You may experience Kib as the need for solitude or the desire for separation.
Being alone is often necessary to unwind
from intimate or entangled interactions with others.
Kib’s gifts are given to those that can be alone with themselves.

On a day with Kib as Daykeeper,
you may want to find time to be by yourself
or focus on what you can do by yourself alone.
It is an opportune time to separate yourself
from people and things that no longer serve your current needs.
You may feel much better after bringing certain things to a final conclusion.

People born on a Kib day often experience
their most profound revelations in solitude and usually work best alone.
Even in the presence of others
they are able to maintain an independent awareness of self.

This is an excerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

13 death, 13 death dancer, tarot, shamanism, mayan, daykeeper, men, abundance, achieve, envision, focus, insight, intuition, prosperity, HEALINGthroughCEREMONY.com, Michele Fire-River Heart

Tarot: 13 ~ Death (aka Death Dancer: Mayan Tarot)

HINT ~ This is the death of a part of you, something that needed to go is on it’s way. Let it go, make space for something new to be birthed.

CURRENT BLOG THEME
– Tarot a tool to use intuitively, for you to discern what today’s message is. What to pay attention to, due to the energy presented by the card and as a means of self exploration.
I pull a tarot card every day with the intent that the card is for whomever is called to read my blog that day. Due to honouring copyright I will not be posting a photo of the card but instead I will post a photo of something that resonates as a mirror for that card. It is up to you, to interpret what the photo’s message is for you each day.

Play with tarot be your own best teacher
What intuitive messages are you hearing today?

Two ways you can do with this.
1) Focus on the photo and your breath, if the message comes from your belly it is usually your intuition, if it comes from your mind, well ego is probably present. So focus on your breath and the card, do your best to stay out of your head and see what comes.
2) Look at the photo, really focus on it, burn it into your retinas, especially parts that catch your attention more. Then go about your day with the intent to see and hear messages.
That’s it, see what comes, play have fun, this is not work, no seriousness please. Trust and be gentle with yourself, going through the process even if you don’t feel like you have gotten a message is still a success.

IN DEPTH PROCESS
~ Set your intent to play with this, rather than it being all serious with a pass or fail mentality.  Intuition takes practice.
~ Set your intent to hear the intuitive messages from spirit that you get today from being present with the photo above.
~ Find a quiet place to be present with the photo. (If the kids are running around the room you’re in, forget about it, find another room)
~ Breathe deeply for a few moments, focussing on your breath. This will bring you into a more balanced intuitive state. If your internal dialogue kicks up that’s okay, just notice it and let it pass on through your mind not engaging with it, and focus on your breath again.
~ Notice what attracts you about the photo. As a symbol what does this mean to you and your life walk?
~ Notice any ‘thoughts, images, colours’ that pop up not from your brain, but rather from your gut or elsewhere. (If it’s from your brain that is your ego chatting away, trying to distract you from hearing your intuition.)
~ What do those thoughts, colours, images mean as symbols or otherwise to you specifically and your life?
~ Right them down. Then you have them and can ponder on them any time you want during the day.
~ If nothing comes, do not, I repeat do not beat yourself up, this is playtime remember. Go about your day, something may pop up during the day unexpectedly. If not, no matter, there’s another photo coming tomorrow to play with.  Intuition takes practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your interpretation and experience is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to find your own truths and their relevance in your life. This is really important. If something resonates great, if not chuck it out. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey and manifesting what you want.

Mayan Daykeeper Men ~ The essence of Men, is fundamentally having the ability to envision, focus and manifest an abundant life in all aspects.

Men often manifests as a new idea or vision.
With this comes the ability to recognize a new goal or desire
and opportunities not apparent to others.
Men may visit you with a clear vision
of your potential for wealth and well-being.

On Men’s day, you can benefit by visualizing your true desires.
Be open to new ideas and unexpected insights.
Take the steps to advance your wealth and well-being.

Those born with Men as their Daykeeper
are natural producers and visionaries.
They can envision and bring together
the resources needed for the manifestation
of something larger than themselves,
something that involves the work and input of many people.

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

10 of swords, tarot, mayan, daykeeper, Ix, messages, spirit, meditation, inter dimensional, spirit, receptivity, fawn, healingthroughceremony.com, michele fire-river heart

Tarot: 10 of Swords

HINT
~ 10’s: Transformation
~ Swords: The mind, slicing through the bullshit, hearing the ego as a teacher but without empowering it
~ 10 of Swords: Empowering your spirit to help you shift in a major way, allowing for the ego to let go of a persistent idea.

CURRENT BLOG THEME
– Tarot a tool to use intuitively, for you to discern what today’s message is. What to pay attention to, due to the energy presented by the card and as a means of self exploration.
I pull a tarot card every day with the intent that the card is for whomever is called to read my blog that day. Due to honouring copyright I will not be posting a photo of the card but instead I will post a photo of something that resonates as a mirror for that card. It is up to you, to interpret what the photo’s message is for you each day.

Play with tarot be your own best teacher
What intuitive messages are you hearing today?

Two ways you can do with this.
1) Focus on the photo and your breath, if the message comes from your belly it is usually your intuition, if it comes from your mind, well ego is probably present. So focus on your breath and the card, do your best to stay out of your head and see what comes.
2) Look at the photo, really focus on it, burn it into your retinas, especially parts that catch your attention more. Then go about your day with the intent to see and hear messages.
That’s it, see what comes, play have fun, this is not work, no seriousness please. Trust and be gentle with yourself, going through the process even if you don’t feel like you have gotten a message is still a success.

IN DEPTH PROCESS
~ Set your intent to play with this, rather than it being all serious with a pass or fail mentality.  Intuition takes practice.
~ Set your intent to hear the intuitive messages from spirit that you get today from being present with the photo above.
~ Find a quiet place to be present with the photo. (If the kids are running around the room you’re in, forget about it, find another room)
~ Breathe deeply for a few moments, focussing on your breath. This will bring you into a more balanced intuitive state. If your internal dialogue kicks up that’s okay, just notice it and let it pass on through your mind not engaging with it, and focus on your breath again.
~ Notice what attracts you about the photo. As a symbol what does this mean to you and your life walk?
~ Notice any ‘thoughts, images, colours’ that pop up not from your brain, but rather from your gut or elsewhere. (If it’s from your brain that is your ego chatting away, trying to distract you from hearing your intuition.)
~ What do those thoughts, colours, images mean as symbols or otherwise to you specifically and your life?
~ Right them down. Then you have them and can ponder on them any time you want during the day.
~ If nothing comes, do not, I repeat do not beat yourself up, this is playtime remember. Go about your day, something may pop up during the day unexpectedly. If not, no matter, there’s another photo coming tomorrow to play with.  Intuition takes practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your interpretation and experience is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to find your own truths and their relevance in your life. This is really important. If something resonates great, if not chuck it out. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey and manifesting what you want.

Mayan Daykeeper Ix ~ The essence of Ix is the ability of  the spiritual realm to communicate in the physical realm. An ability to communicate in both.

Ix may manifest as an awareness of spirit
and what may be considered supernatural.

On an Ix day, you may want to be more open
to messages from the spirit world.
It is a good day to contemplate who you are
in dimensions of life other than just the material and physical.

Those born on an Ix day
have the ability to perceive the spirit within.
They can respond to this spirit
and receive it’s communication while in the physical world.

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

6 of swords, tarot, shamanism, mayan, daykeeper, ben, family, offspring, interdependent, responsibility, support, kindred, clan, kin, devotion, intimate, HEALINGthroughCEREMONY.com, Michele Fire-River Heart

Tarot: 6 of Swords

HINT
~ 6’s: The culmination of something positive
~ Swords: The mind, slicing through the bullshit, hearing the ego as a teacher but without empowering it
~ 6 of Swords: Letting something die within yourself, no trauma and drama, just a welcome release. The pain is let go.

CURRENT BLOG THEME
– Tarot a tool to use intuitively, for you to discern what today’s message is. What to pay attention to, due to the energy presented by the card and as a means of self exploration.
I pull a tarot card every day with the intent that the card is for whomever is called to read my blog that day. Due to honouring copyright I will not be posting a photo of the card but instead I will post a photo of something that resonates as a mirror for that card. It is up to you, to interpret what the photo’s message is for you each day.

Play with tarot be your own best teacher
What intuitive messages are you hearing today?

Two ways you can do with this.
1) Focus on the photo and your breath, if the message comes from your belly it is usually your intuition, if it comes from your mind, well ego is probably present. So focus on your breath and the card, do your best to stay out of your head and see what comes.
2) Look at the photo, really focus on it, burn it into your retinas, especially parts that catch your attention more. Then go about your day with the intent to see and hear messages.
That’s it, see what comes, play have fun, this is not work, no seriousness please. Trust and be gentle with yourself, going through the process even if you don’t feel like you have gotten a message is still a success.

IN DEPTH PROCESS
~ Set your intent to play with this, rather than it being all serious with a pass or fail mentality.  Intuition takes practice.
~ Set your intent to hear the intuitive messages from spirit that you get today from being present with the photo above.
~ Find a quiet place to be present with the photo. (If the kids are running around the room you’re in, forget about it, find another room)
~ Breathe deeply for a few moments, focussing on your breath. This will bring you into a more balanced intuitive state. If your internal dialogue kicks up that’s okay, just notice it and let it pass on through your mind not engaging with it, and focus on your breath again.
~ Notice what attracts you about the photo. As a symbol what does this mean to you and your life walk?
~ Notice any ‘thoughts, images, colours’ that pop up not from your brain, but rather from your gut or elsewhere. (If it’s from your brain that is your ego chatting away, trying to distract you from hearing your intuition.)
~ What do those thoughts, colours, images mean as symbols or otherwise to you specifically and your life?
~ Right them down. Then you have them and can ponder on them any time you want during the day.
~ If nothing comes, do not, I repeat do not beat yourself up, this is playtime remember. Go about your day, something may pop up during the day unexpectedly. If not, no matter, there’s another photo coming tomorrow to play with.  Intuition takes practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your interpretation and experience is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to find your own truths and their relevance in your life. This is really important. If something resonates great, if not chuck it out. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey and manifesting what you want.

Mayan Daykeeper Ben ~ The essence of Ben is our connection to our ancestral lines. Ben is that feeling of family, the warm cozy one. I know that is not true for all of you, however families are created in many ways, through blood, through choice, through friendship. In all cases you have an opportunity to learn from your interactions with your families. Ben holds the energy of interdependent family relationships not co-dependent ones.

Ben expresses in the human experience as
the awareness of family, including both ancestors and
the future potential of the family.

On a Ben day, there may be a general focus on the family
or other dependent relationships.
You may feel more intimate with others around you.
Be careful not to engage those close to you in obsolete family patterns.

Those born with Ben as their Daykeeper
are often responsible and devoted family members.
They may assume the responsibility of being the caretaker of the family

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

ace of wands, Tarot, shamanism, mayan, daykeeper, eb, spirit, awareness, angel, spirit guide, expanded, healingthroughceremony.com, michele fire-river heart

Ace of Wands

HINT
~ Ace’s: The beginning of something, gifts, the root cause, the beginning of the theme of the suit (in this case Wands)
~ Wands: Your spirit, the core fire of your being, your energy, power and self-authority, action
~ Ace of Wands: Rebirth, your kundalini energy/centre catalyst energy, first action towards a goal.

CURRENT BLOG THEME

– Tarot a tool to use intuitively, for you to discern what today’s message is. What to pay attention to, due to the energy presented by the card and as a means of self exploration.
I pull a tarot card every day with the intent that the card is for whomever is called to read my blog that day. Due to honouring copyright I will not be posting a photo of the card but instead I will post a photo of something that resonates as a mirror for that card. It is up to you, to interpret what the photo’s message is for you each day.

Play with tarot be your own best teacher
What intuitive messages are you hearing today?

Two ways you can do with this.
1) Focus on the photo and your breath, if the message comes from your belly it is usually your intuition, if it comes from your mind, well ego is probably present. So focus on your breath and the card, do your best to stay out of your head and see what comes.
2) Look at the photo, really focus on it, burn it into your retinas, especially parts that catch your attention more. Then go about your day with the intent to see and hear messages.
That’s it, see what comes, play have fun, this is not work, no seriousness please. Trust and be gentle with yourself, going through the process even if you don’t feel like you have gotten a message is still a success.

IN DEPTH PROCESS
~ Set your intent to play with this, rather than it being all serious with a pass or fail mentality.  Intuition takes practice.
~ Set your intent to hear the intuitive messages from spirit that you get today from being present with the photo above.
~ Find a quiet place to be present with the photo. (If the kids are running around the room you’re in, forget about it, find another room)
~ Breathe deeply for a few moments, focussing on your breath. This will bring you into a more balanced intuitive state. If your internal dialogue kicks up that’s okay, just notice it and let it pass on through your mind not engaging with it, and focus on your breath again.
~ Notice what attracts you about the photo. As a symbol what does this mean to you and your life walk?
~ Notice any ‘thoughts, images, colours’ that pop up not from your brain, but rather from your gut or elsewhere. (If it’s from your brain that is your ego chatting away, trying to distract you from hearing your intuition.)
~ What do those thoughts, colours, images mean as symbols or otherwise to you specifically and your life?
~ Right them down. Then you have them and can ponder on them any time you want during the day.
~ If nothing comes, do not, I repeat do not beat yourself up, this is playtime remember. Go about your day, something may pop up during the day unexpectedly. If not, no matter, there’s another photo coming tomorrow to play with.  Intuition takes practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your interpretation and experience is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to find your own truths and their relevance in your life. This is really important. If something resonates great, if not chuck it out. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey and manifesting what you want.

Mayan Daykeeper Eb ~ Eb is an energy, guardian angel/entity, spirit guide, (fill in your own belief word). An energy that helps you connect between the physical & spiritual realms.

Eb often appears as a guide or a powerful force
that assists you on your journey.
Eb may come to you from within or through someone else.
On days with Eb as a Daykeeper,
you may more easily access spiritual awareness and
expanded states of consciousness.
It is a good day to contact inner guides
or draw inspiration to attain a higher perspective on daily affairs.

Those born with Eb as their Daykeeper,
have a natural ability to attain a spiritual, expanded awareness.
When inspired they can guide other to their true path
to begin fulfilling their higher purpose

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.