communication – HEALING through CEREMONY

HEALING through CEREMONY, healing, ceremony, healing ceremony, shamanism, past history, past relationship, pain, past relationship pain be gone, Michele fire-river heart, medicine woman, Gabriola island, British Columbia, Canada, focus, perspective, attention, addiction, sobriety, feelings, hope

Addiction is an adaptation to survive

February 4, 2020February 15, 2020 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in 10 - Pure Intellect and Measure, 15 - Collective Consciousness of all Humans, 6 - Spirit-Spirit, 7 - The Dream of Life, 8 - The Circle of Law, 9 - The Moon and Movement, BEING PRESENT, Care, Confrontation, Death, Defeat, fear, Feelings, Honesty, Loneliness, Love, Need, Pain, Past Relationship Pain Be Gone, Patience, Rage, Raw Power, Seeking, spirit, Testing, The Physical, Victory, WISDOM

This is a touchy subject that creates strong reactions. If you think I’m full of shit that’s okay, your truth is your own, all I can do is share my truth at this particular moment in time.

You are always doing the best you can even if it doesn’t look pretty.

I was recently in a group where someone mentioned an addict with disgust and contempt. This attitude is quite common in my experience. I intellectually know it is about them, whether a mirror for themselves, or having been in relationship with an addict, or just general ignorance. Whatever it is it pisses me off, and yes pissing me off is ‘my’ stuff as I was once an addict for many, many years. That also gives me a unique perspective into addiction. Which is the reason for this blog post and at least one more to come. I don’t talk about my experience with addiction much anymore, as telling the story takes me right back there, rekindling those memory pathways of an old story that does not serve me. However my intuition has nudged me, letting me know it was important to tell it today.

Addiction is a disease …. oh bite me. Even if you believe that, it’s a disease that can be cured. Not everyone succeeds, but that is true of a lot of diseases. You are not fated to carry around the “I am an addict banner”, once successfully sober. More on the “successfully sober” bit in later posts.

So how I define addiction: any behaviour that you do repetitively to deflect your attention from your reality and your pain, that negatively affects you and by extension your life. That creates imbalance even if it is a means to an end. Addiction is not in the substance, addiction is in the behaviour.

We are an addictive culture, it is common for people to use addiction as a way to survive the stress of daily life, past trauma (acknowledged or not), fear of the unknown and many other things that make us uncomfortable. What is uncommon is people realizing and/or admitting it, especially before it is affecting their lives in extreme ways.

We learn to adapt to our environment starting from birth, adapting at all costs to survive. We are at the mercy of our caregivers whether they are nice or not and society at large. So we change who we are to fit in, to be loved, to be taken care of, and once we grow up we’ve often forgotten or indeed have no awareness at all of those bit by bit changes we made in order to make ourselves feel safe.

In order to feel safe, self-soothe or escape the pain of our reality, some of us retreat within ourselves, becoming meek and quiet. Others of us fight for ourselves and our childhood is peppered with discord within our relationships, or become people pleasers always helping everyone. Some of us become over-controlling as a way to feel ok, and others becoming mean or a bully to reduce the feeling of helplessness. Some start with addictive behaviours to self-sooth, often with food as the first addiction. Other’s become pompous asses to hide feelings of inadequacy. No one is better or worse than another, they are all a way to stop the feelings of pain that comes with betraying ourselves (remembered or not), the anger at unjust treatment, lies, deceptions, not being given unconditional love, and for some not even having their daily basic needs met, and having nowhere to go or no-one that believes you or in you. It is a way for some of us to stop wanting to blow our brains out, escape this reality and not feel or hurt again.

…….. So now you’re an adult.

If you are an addict it is okay,
congratulations you found a way to survive,
not everyone does.

I encourage you, to not to go into judgement, shame and blame, or if you do, forgive yourself as often as is necessary and carry on doing the best you can. This blog and the one(s) to come are meant to give you hope that sobriety is possible. If you’re an addict you are on a journey which is giving you skills and abilities that you can cross-train to attain sobriety. If you are not an addict well, here’s a window into the world of a woman who once was.

Shame, blame and judgement are damaging emotions, and counterproductive to sobriety. In fact they kept me locked into addiction like a vice.

A week in the head of the addict I used to be.
An average addictive week starting on a Monday …

– Off to work feeling depressed, overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally
– I got high Friday and Saturday night, not Sunday as I had to work today, so that was something
– I vowed to not use again when I woke up on Sunday morning

Now the weekly game is afoot, because the first thing I want to do to not feel my emotional pain, is to use again.
– My infernal internal dialogue is off and running, all day long as usual…..
Judgement, judgement, judgement “How could you use again, why can’t you be stronger, why can’t you just say no, look at the money you spent, see how bad you feel now, but I want to use, you can’t use, I want to use, you can’t use, I know I vowed I wouldn’t but ……. I want to.” Rinse repeat, rinse repeat, rinse repeat.

– I need to escape from myself and my continuous judgement and internal dialogue. I cannot I am trapped in my own head.
– I need to escape the push and pull of wanting to use and saying no, over and over and over again.
– I can’t make my head shut up, my Itty Bitty Shitty Committee is working overtime
– I feel awful, physically, mentally, emotionally I am a basket case
– My neurochemistry is now so low my ability to even fight my desires are at a really low ebb.
– “It’s only Monday you can hang on until Friday Michele, you cannot work hungover you know that, okay, push through it, perhaps by Friday you’ll feel better and not want to use”

But nothing changes, I fight with my overwhelming desire to use all week long.

I have made it to Friday. I have accomplished sobriety for 5 days in a row. Hooray for me. Unfortunately I still want to use, and now I have been doing battle with myself for approx. 130 hrs straight I am exhausted. I don’t have to work tomorrow, I’m sooo tired of the battle, I hate myself, I am disgusted by my inability to not want to use, disgusted by my previous behaviour, what is wrong with me, why can’t I just say no.
I cannot hold the pain and stay present anymore.

– It’s Friday, I’ll just get high tonight, no work tomorrow
– F..k it I’m going to score
– Then I have to go about acquiring it, and seeing as booze isn’t my thing, I can’t just go to the store, so…. (Just imagine the stress of acquiring an illegal substance, that you may or may not even be able to get and now that you’ve said yes to yourself, you are let’s say … very determined. Anxious to be able to get or not get, anxious to not get busted. I was lucky I never got busted, and if you think getting busted would have stopped me from using as soon as I got out back then, you are wrong.)

And so I score and I use again,
– Oh sweet holy h_ll, I feel good and I feel happy for the first time all week.
– No more pain, emotional, physical or mental.
– Zippidy do da zippidy day, my oh my what a wonderful day!
– I am out of my body, out of my head, my internal dialogue is gone. I get to focus on anything other than wanting to use.
– But of course once it’s gone, then begins the slow slide back to the hell of the reality I have created
– I wake up sober in absolute horror over having used yet again and what I did when I used. When we mind alter with anything, it changes how we act and behave.
– My constant companions judgement, shame and blame show up as usual, creating a new layer of emotional pain. Addicts are really really good at beating themselves up, we don’t need any help really, we got this!
– Hungover and now feeling so bad about my behaviours on top of depressed, overwhelmed and stressed …….

– It’s Saturday – using last night has tipped the scales on my ability to fight. I don’t have to work tomorrow.
– I’m going to use ….. I’m done!
– I’ll stop tomorrow, I’ve got work on Monday …….

“Just Say NO!” ……… What a load of crap!
Now there was a campaign that wiggled its way into the hearts and minds of many.

What a lovely thought ‘Just say No”. Why didn’t I think of that……

All be it perhaps well intentioned, that campaign has done soooo much harm to addicts I can’t even tell you. That ridiculous campaign, became embedded in the beliefs of western culture.

Addicts say ‘No’ to themselves all day long, constantly fighting to not cave to their addiction, fighting their overwhelming sense of disgust with themselves, fighting the pain, fighting the judgement, shame and blame they heap on themselves.

I no longer dance with addiction, but admittedly I still on occasion eat too much sugar and indulge in zoning out with movies and tv. The difference is now I have so many years of sobriety and a mountain of healing work behind me. I have the advantage of neurochemistry that is not in the toilet, and the wisdom to know myself well and what strategies I need to implement, so that I do not allow those those behaviours to go unchecked for very long.

I now consider myself healed from addiction, with a predisposition for addictive tendencies. I do not fear falling back into the need to mind alter to get away from the life I have and am creating. I also now know that where my neurochemistry is at, which dramatically changes how I am feeling, and by default how ‘at risk’ I might be to depression. Depression for me was what was underlying my addiction in the past, and is probably underlying almost everybody’s addictive behaviours.

My next post will deal with how I got sober and some sciency stuff, to help explain our neurochemistry a bit more.

Q & A with a hand full of bullshit thrown in for good measure
We only react to things that we have ‘stuff’ with.
So why do you need that glass of wine/joint/codeine/etc. every day?
Imagine that you will never be able to get alcohol/joint/codeine/etc. of any sort again?
How do you feel now?
Is there a wee bit of panic rising, discomfort?

What is that glass of wine/joint/codeine/etc. doing for you? What’s the gain, there’s always a gain?

“Well I only have one glass of wine everyday, I’m not an addict”
“I only drink/toke socially”
“I toke, but doesn’t everyone and it’s legal now, doesn’t make me an addict”
“Exercising 3 hrs every day is good for me, not addiction”
“My doctor prescribed these”
“I only shop all the time to get the deals, and the shipping is free! I’ve got Amazon Prime”
“I’m just having a challenging time right now”
“I’m not an addict, I can stop whenever I want” (This is my favourite piece of bullshit)
“I only get high on the weekends” – This was my bullshit and my control mechanism, most of the time

Blah blah blah …… At a certain point we own our truth and things get better from there

Using Energy ~ Today’s Daykeeper is Ben

October 3, 2017 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in Ben, Imagination, Mayan Daykeepers

Your interpretation and experience is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to find your own truths and their relevance in your life. This is really important. If something resonates great, if not chuck it out. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey and manifesting what you want.

On Sept 21st Mayan Daykeeper Imix brought us back to the beginning of a new cycle of 20 days. This cycle we are looking at creation through imagination. The relevant daily information on today’s Mayan Daykeeper is below todays musings.

We are creators of our lives, what we imagine we create.

We are looking at ‘The Twelve Imaginings’. The were given to Hyemeyohsts Storm by Estcheemah. She was a Zero Chief. Hyemeyohsts wrote these down in his book Lightningbolt. What is a Zero Chief? My understanding is the Zero chiefs were a secret group of people that keep the spiritual & healing knowledge of the Native Americans when it needed to go underground, to preserve it and keep it safe due to colonization. Now I could be wrong, but there it is, make of it what you will.

We will do an imagining a day for 2 days. On the third day I will add an imagining of my own. You are invited to add imaginings of your own in the comments section on any day. On the 20th day of the cycle I will list all the imaginings that have been submitted.

I imagine that we learn about energy & how to use it, just like reading & writing (Michele’s imagining)

I invite you to sit with this imagining, and see what it means to you.

Here’s some of what it means to me:
~ All humans understand how to read energy
~ Energy work is no longer woo woo, it is mainstream
~ Our connection to the spirit realm is strong
~ We heal faster due to having more knowledge
~ Hearing messages from spirit is just another source of knowledge

Mayan Daykeeper Ben ~ The essence of Ben is our connection to our ancestral lines. Ben is that feeling of family, the warm cozy one. I know that is not true for all of you, however families are created in many ways, through blood, through choice, through friendship. In all cases you have an opportunity to learn from your interactions with your families. Ben holds the energy of interdependent family relationships not co-dependent ones.

Ben expresses in the human experience as
the awareness of family, including both ancestors and
the future potential of the family.

On a Ben day, there may be a general focus on the family
or other dependent relationships.
You may feel more intimate with others around you.
Be careful not to engage those close to you in obsolete family patterns.

Those born with Ben as their Daykeeper
are often responsible and devoted family members.
They may assume the responsibility of being the caretaker of the family

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

Previous Ben days this year Jan 16th, Feb 5th, 25th, March 17th, April 6th, 26th, May 16th, June 5th, 25th, July 15th, Aug 4th, 24th, Sept 13th

Basic Needs ~ Today’s Daykeeper is Ok

September 30, 2017 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in Imagination, Mayan Daykeepers, Ok

We are creators of our lives, what we imagine we create.

I imagine all humans have their basic needs covered

I invite you to sit with this imagining, and see what it means to you.

Here’s some of what it means to me:
~ We can focus on our gifts & abilities
~ We all have the opportunity to do work we’re passionate about
~ Poverty is no longer about money
~ Caring about each other is normal
~ Human happiness is the scale we use for change

Mayan Daykeeper Ok ~ The essence of Ok is the pure energy of carnal yearnings. It is also an awareness of our connection to our primordial instincts & intuitive senses.

Ok may be experienced as a heightened sensitivity to your inner feelings and desires,
as well as enhanced awareness of your environment.

Ok may express as a strong desire, a sense of loyalty
or the need to allow desire to guide your actions.
Ok’s days are good for allowing yourself to be guided by your desires and intuition,
trusting yourself and enjoying every moment.

Those born on a Ok day may be loyal, flamboyant, intuitive
and available for the true desires of the moment.

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

Previous Ok days this year Jan 13th, Feb 2nd, 22nd, March 14th, April 3rd, 23rd, May 13th, June 2nd, 22nd, July 12th, 22nd, Aug 1st, 21st, Sept 10th

The Interconnection of Death & White Buffalo Woman (Collective Consciousness of Plants) ~ Today’s Daykeeper is Ben

September 13, 2017 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in 13 - White Buffalo Woman, 20 Count, 20 Great Teachers of Life, Ben, Death, Mayan Daykeepers

Your interpretation and experience of these energies is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to explore what they mean to you and their relevance in your life. This is really important. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences and beliefs. The juice and healing comes from within your own understanding, it is pivotal for your healing journey.

This cycle I am looking at the interconnection between The Twenty Great Teachers of Life and The Earth Count. Let’s see what their interconnection has to teach us. The relevant daily information on each energy is below todays musings.

The Interconnection of Death & White Buffalo Woman (Collective Consciousness of Plants) ~ The most visible teacher of death from my perspective are the plants. Their cycle of birth, death & rebirth are there for all to see. The show us the naturalness of this cycle. One of the most miraculous things are seeds. The giant sequoia tree grows from a seed that is approx. half the size of a grain of rice, it boggles the mind. If that’s not magical transformation I’m not sure what is. Here’s some interesting facts about sequoias on Treehugger.com

13 – The Great Teacher of Death
Death teaches us about magical transformation

Death and change, death as an ally, death, death, death. Why do we have such a charge around death? In western cultures I surmise that it is lack of exposure. We rarely discuss it, and if we do it’s in hushed tones. We rarely see actual dead bodies, and more often than not, it’s in a funeral home where the body has been pumped full of chemicals and made up to imitate life. Television and movies shows us death, but there they do it to trigger fear in us for the most part, and it’s not a real representation of common death at all. We even give death fake names….passed on, passed over, passed away, left us, gone to heaven, gone to be with Jesus, gone to the great (Insert your belief) in the sky, no longer with us, popped his/her/their clogs, kicked the bucked, shuffled off this mortal coil, carked it, pegged out, pushing up the daisies, at peace, at rest, belly up, beyond the veil, beyond the grave, bite the dust, cashed in their chips, bite the big one, bought the farm, come to a sticky end, crossed the Jordan, counting worms, croaked, departed this life, well it goes on and on, we are very creative when it comes to talking about death in a round about way. So why? My guess it is because it is the great unknown, most people do not have substantial information of what really happens, so we cling to whatever works for us to not make it so scary.

My experiences with The Death Cafe (Which on Gabriola will start up again at our library this fall) have shown me that, the more people talk about death and dying, the less charge there is about it. Unbelievably the most common thing to hear at our Death Cafes is laughter. The more exposure we have to actual dead bodies the less fear there is. It is a transition just like birth, we are just birthing into another realm. (Those of you with no belief in the spirit realm, well just ignore this part) Just like birth it is a magical experience. The sadness that comes with death is only present in those left behind, and only if there is unresolved attachment. If there is no unresolved attachment we have no sadness, our sadness is all about us, not the person or animal buddy that has died.

The Interconnection of Confrontation with Pure Intellect & Measure ~ Today’s Daykeeper is Ok

September 10, 2017 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in 10 - Pure Intellect and Measure, 20 Count, 20 Great Teachers of Life, Confrontation, Mayan Daykeepers, Ok

The interconnection between Confrontation with Pure Intellect and Measure (See below) ~ Reason and self choice (Pure intellect & measure), confrontation teaching us the measure of self worth. Reason leads to self choice leads to self worth. As a mathematical equation? A + B = C Quite often I will use A + C = B as for me when I am deciding on a course of action that is a wee bit challenging for me, how I will feel at the end of making each choice, will help me make the choice that leads me to feel better about myself. Back to pacing in front of the donut case.

If I choose the donut, oooh the sweet taste and ensuing neuro-chemical rush of sugar will be lovely for a few moments, then I will get the next rush, guilt, shame and blame, then I will get to choose to do healing & forgiveness. If I choose not to do the healing & forgiveness, well I get to carry around my guilt, shame and blame. Which robs me of energy and time ……. not pleasant, and will probably lead to more emotional stuffing with donuts. See that cycle.

If I choose not to eat the donut, then I get a rush of satisfaction, pride and empowerment, and the odds of me wanting that donut tomorrow is greatly reduced.

Therefore, for me to run an internal play of each scenario, including how I will feel in each, helps me make the choice that is most beneficial for me.
A + C = B …… Reason + Self worth = Self choice which results in
A + B = C …… Reason + Self Choice = Positive self worth.

10 – The Tenth Great Teacher is Confrontation
Confrontation teaches us the measure of self-worth

Confrontation a biggie I suspect for many of us, it certainly is for me. Well what does it really do for us anyway, why bother, things could get messy, I don’t like messy?

Confrontation is about truth, yours and others. It shows us how willing we are to stand by our beliefs, protect ourselves and others, how much courage we have, how well we communicate. It can be about working with the tool of confrontation to figure out a new way of doing things, teach us about new perspectives, and how to communicate effectively and authentically even when challenged. It can teach us about speaking our truth without attacking others. It teaches us to stay grounded even in reactionary situations.

For me I have a long history of denying my truth in confrontation. My mom had major control issues (Stemming out of her childhood experiences, she was doing the best she could), so when I was told something about myself that I knew wasn’t true, I would confront her with my truth, she would then inform me of my mistake and that her truth about me, was the truth. I would again speak my truth to have it yet again shot down. These confrontations would continue until I caved, and just let her have her way. This pattern of behaviour of mine to back down when confronted, stayed with me through most of my marriage (Yes I married a partner just like mom), until I healed enough to stand in my truth. Once that happened the marriage ended, I had learnt what I needed to in the relationship, and a big part of that was being authentic when in confrontation. However confrontation although I could do it, now more often than not, came in the form of anger, and often just not being very present at all. It was the way I chose to be able to speak my truth, but that’s not very effective, we are not heard when we make a point in anger. I then went on to learn and practice confrontation from a balanced, neutral place, which is still an edge for me, but I can do it more often than not.

With neutrality came the awareness of when confrontation is important. Can we confront others in a way that they can hear, speak their language, and discern if it’s even worthwhile. As with all our lessons, we get what we are able to handle. So now I have someone in my life who against all physical evidence will argue the contrary, I have learnt to let it go, there is no point to confrontation. I am almost okay with this, when I am totally okay with it I wonder will I have graduated from confrontation class?

What has confrontation taught you? Are you unhappy, and prefer to remain that way rather than confront the cause? Are there particular people or issues you will not confront? How do you confront? What do the answers to these questions teach you about yourself?

10 – The Ten ~ TEN is the Number for PURE INTELLECT and MEASURE.
Creation gave humans the power of Reason and Self Choice. Ten is also the number of the humans’ HIGHER SELF, their Sacred Twin, what can give greater measure than this Spirit-knowing?
Come, Children, have you met your Self and Know Existence?
(Hyemeyohsts Storm’s Earth Count)

10 – Mayan Daykeeper Ok ~ The essence of Ok is the pure energy of carnal yearnings. It is also an awareness of our connection to our primordial instincts & intuitive senses.

Ok may be experienced as a heightened sensitivity to your inner feelings and desires,
as well as enhanced awareness of your environment.

Those born on a Ok day may be loyal, flamboyant, intuitive
and available for the true desires of the moment.

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

Previous Ok days this year Jan 13th, Feb 2nd, 22nd, March 14th, April 3rd, 23rd, May 13th, June 2nd, 22nd, July 12th, 22nd, Aug 1st, 21st

Death as a Teacher ~ White Buffalo Woman ~ Mayan Daykeeper Ben

August 24, 2017August 23, 2017 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in 13 - White Buffalo Woman, 20 Count, Ben, Death, Mayan Daykeepers

Your interpretation and experience of this teacher is your own. I can only share my personal understanding, I invite you to explore what this teacher means to you and the lessons it has brought you thus far. This is really important. We gain nothing by ‘taking on’ others life experiences. The juice and healing comes from within your own paradigm, it is pivotal for your healing journey.

13 – The Great Teacher of Death
Death teaches us about magical transformation

How do you see death?
How does death and change in your life transform you?
What have you learnt from others deaths?
Can you see death as birthing into another realm?

Ben expresses in the human experience as
the awareness of family, including both ancestors and
the future potential of the family.

Those born with Ben as their Daykeeper
are often responsible and devoted family members.
They may assume the responsibility of being the caretaker of the family

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

Previous Ben days this year Jan 16th, Feb 5th, 25th, March 17th, April 6th, 26th, May 16th, June 5th, 25th, July 15th, August 4th

Confrontation as a Teacher ~ Pure Intellect & Measure ~ Mayan Daykeeper Ok

August 21, 2017August 11, 2017 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in 10 - Pure Intellect and Measure, 20 Count, 20 Great Teachers of Life, Confrontation, Mayan Daykeepers, Ok

10 – The Tenth Great Teacher is Confrontation
Confrontation teaches us the measure of self-worth

How do you deal with confrontation?
Are you more likely to be confronted or confront?
Does this tell you anything about yourself?
How does confrontation teach you about self-worth?

10 – Mayan Daykeeper Ok ~ The essence of Ok is the pure energy of carnal yearnings. It is also an awareness of our connection to our primordial instincts & intuitive senses.

Ok may be experienced as a heightened sensitivity to your inner feelings and desires,
as well as enhanced awareness of your environment.

Those born on a Ok day may be loyal, flamboyant, intuitive
and available for the true desires of the moment.

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

Previous Ok days this year Jan 13th, Feb 2nd, 22nd, March 14th, April 3rd, 23rd, May 13th, June 2nd, 22nd, July 12th, August 1st

The Teacher of Death ~ White Buffalo Woman ~ Mayan Daykeeper Ben

August 4, 2017 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in 13 - White Buffalo Woman, 20 Count, Ben, Death, Mayan Daykeepers

13 – The Great Teacher of Death
Death teaches us about magical transformation

Death and change, death as an ally, death, death, death. Why do we have such a charge around death? In western cultures I surmise that it is lack of exposure. We rarely discuss it, and if we do it’s in hushed tones. We rarely see actual dead bodies, and more often than not if we do, it’s in a funeral home where the body has been pumped full of chemicals and made up to imitate life. Television and movies shows us death, but there they do it to trigger fear in us for the most part, and it’s not a real representation of common death at all. We even give death fake names….passed on, passed over, passed away, left us, gone to heaven, gone to be with Jesus, gone to the great (Insert your belief) in the sky, no longer with us, popped his/her/their clogs, kicked the bucked, shuffled off this mortal coil, carked it, pegged out, pushing up the daisies, at peace, at rest, belly up, beyond the veil, beyond the grave, bite the dust, cashed in their chips, bite the big one, bought the farm, come to a sticky end, crossed the Jordan, counting worms, croaked, departed this life, well it goes on and on, we are very creative when it comes to talking about death in a round about way. So why? My guess it is because it is the great unknown, most people do not have substantial information of what really happens, so we cling to whatever works for us to not make it so scary.

The Teacher of Confrontation ~ Pure Intellect & Measure ~ Mayan Daykeeper Ok

August 1, 2017 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in 10 - Pure Intellect and Measure, 20 Count, 20 Great Teachers of Life, Confrontation, Mayan Daykeepers, Ok

10 – The Tenth Great Teacher is Confrontation
Confrontation teaches us the measure of self-worth

Confrontation a biggie I suspect for many of us, it certainly is for me. Well what does it really do for us anyway, why bother, things could get messy, I don’t like messy?

For me I have a long history of denying my truth in confrontation. My mom had major control issues (Stemming out of her childhood experiences, she was doing the best she could), so when I was told something about myself that I knew wasn’t true, I would confront her with my truth, she would then inform me of my mistake and that her truth about me was the truth, I would again speak my truth to have it yet again shot down. These confrontations would continue until I caved and just let her have her way. This pattern of behaviour of mine to back down when confronted stayed with me through most of my marriage (Yes married a partner just like mom), until I healed enough to stand in my truth. Once that happened the marriage ended, I had learnt what I needed to in the relationship, and a big part of that was being authentic when in confrontation. However confrontation although I could do it, now more often than not came in the form of anger, and often just not being very present at all. It was the way I chose to be able to speak my truth, but that’s not very effective, we are not heard when we make a point in anger. I then went on to learn and practice confrontation from a balanced, neutral place, which is still an edge for me, but I can do it more often than not.

10 – Mayan Daykeeper Ok ~ The essence of Ok is the pure energy of carnal yearnings. It is also an awareness of our connection to our primordial instincts & intuitive senses.

Ok may be experienced as a heightened sensitivity to your inner feelings and desires,
as well as enhanced awareness of your environment.

Those born on a Ok day may be loyal, flamboyant, intuitive
and available for the true desires of the moment.

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

Should you wish to know your Birth Daykeeper, Contact me with your birth date.

Previous Ok days this year Jan 13th, Feb 2nd, 22nd, March 14th, April 3rd, 23rd, May 13th, June 2nd, 22nd, July 12th

Ben is here today (Mayan Daykeeper)

July 15, 2017 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in 20 Count, Ben, Mayan Daykeepers

The essence of Ben is our connection to our ancestral lines. Ben is that feeling of family, the warm cozy one. I know that is not true for all of you, however families are created in many ways, through blood, through choice, through friendship. In all cases you have an opportunity to learn from your interactions with your families. Ben holds the energy of interdependent family relationships not co-dependent ones.

13 – Ben and 13 – White Buffalo Woman: She and her male-twin-reflection are the spirit of all the plants. Every flower, tree, grass, herb, vegetable and underwater plant is a cell that forms the Great Body knowing of White Buffalo Woman and her Twin. (Hyemeyohsts Storm’s Earth Count)

Well that sounds complicated, I was taught that 13 was simply the collective consciousness of the plants, so I’m going with that. The more we learn about plants and how they live together, the more amazed I am. Did you know that mother trees will actually feed their young, increasing seedling survival by 4 times? Now that’s a connection to ancestral lines if I ever heard one, and then there’s learning from your ancestral family, well they do that too. Interdependent family relationships.

What Knowledge of How Trees Communicate Means For Forest Conservation – Huffingtonpost.ca

How Plants Secretly Talk to Each Other – Wired.com

You may never be able to look at this scene the same way again.

If you have been following my blog the information below is a repeat. Previous Ben days this year Jan 16th, Feb 5th, 25th, March 17th, April 6th, 26th, May 16th, June 5th, 25th

Ben expresses in the human experience as
the awareness of family, including both ancestors and
the future potential of the family.

Those born with Ben as their Daykeeper
are often responsible and devoted family members.
They may assume the responsibility of being the caretaker of the family

This is an exerpt from
Mayan Calendar Voice of the Galaxy by Raymond Mardyks and Stacia Alana-Leah

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